A testimony of life at 26

"on this earth, we are always seeking beauty. i seek the things that take my breath away. snow glistened mountain tops, enchanting sunsets, star-filled skies, wind-swepted plains, drives down empty roads with the windows down. we want something to take our breath away...something more. something that makes us feel alive. i don't want to just see the beauty, i want to feel it, and i want it to fill my very soul. it's these things, the glories of nature, formed by my Creator's hands, that fill up my heart."

-Meg from Rivers and Roads

No one ever really tells you when you are young that life might not go the way you imagine. Sometimes dreams don't play out and you might fall on your face multiple times before you get your wings to soar and prayers might go unanswered at the time but you'll be thankful in the end. They forget to mention things will be hard and cut throat and there will be pain and bitterness and maybe even jealousy along the route. They don't tell you that you might have to face the world as a single adult and how important it will be to carry yourself with grace and dignity through it all.  As a teen I had no reality as to what life in my 20s might look like.  If you would have asked me ten years ago what I'd be doing today, I would have spouted out dreams and plans and I would have surely told you that by now I'd be married and starting a family because that was always MY plan. Some of those plans have happened and others have not.  I didn't ever stop to think if the plans I was making lined up with God's. I didn't always stop and prayerfully consider the decisions I made and looking back oh how I wish I had. 

       At 26 I've learned a lot and I'm still learning. Life can be tough but man it's also so short and so beautiful and we MUST soak it in and LOVE it with everything we have.  I'm really working on loving my life more. Part of that means daily choosing joy and I do believe its a choice. That's no easy task. I'd say i'm a pretty real person... so in saying "I choose joy" please do not think that means every day I'm a "bundle of smiles" as Jason has recently coined me.  One of my favorite quotes from the book i'm reading says,  "The Experience of sorrow in no way diminishes the joy of living". I love this quote because I think as a Christian woman I sometimes forget that those hard days are not out to get me but simply to strengthen my faith. I say this to be honest because I have faced many days in my life where I just feel i've hit rock bottom and I don't know what my next step should be. The amazing thing is I have a God that has long before planned out those steps for me.  Choosing joy can be a daily battle and there will be moments that knock you on your knees in desperation, but the cool part is there are always great moments to come.  Lately, there have been a lot of knock me to my knees moments in my life and i've had to make the daily decision to not live in fear and self pity, but to rise up and cling to the hope and promise God has offered me. Back in Novemeber I really started dealing with God about contentment and priorities and his message rang clear...be content right here, right now, just where you are.  Contentment has been a long battle for me the last few years, but once I finally welcomed it intense contentment and peace have both filled my heart. His plan is perfect.  
       When I think of a lady who daily made the choice of  joy in life, Linda Monroe so clearly comes to my mind. I know she had bad days.. I know things in her life weren't always perfect, but she used every chance she could to love on and invest her time in other people. I will never forget our last Super Summer together.. We were suite mates and I walk over into her room and caught her dancing her heart out and singing "Dancing Queen"! She didn't know I had caught her until much later and we had a good laugh about it, but man that picture just sticks with me. She was totally alone and just enjoying life and living it out!! Her legacy continues to inspire me! Why don't I do that more? I have so much to dance about! 

         I've been reading "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldredge.  I highly recommend this book to any young woman.  To quote the book, "After all isn't it what all of us as woman desire..to be captivating?"  This book will rock your world.  One of my favorite parts so far talks about how God desires to romance us.. if you have any doubt just look at a cotton candy sunset, a field of wild flowers or a starfish swept ashore by the crashing waves.  He loves us so deeply. He made this earth and life so beautiful and oh how we forget to appreciate it.  I've really reached that point in my life and walk that i'm just so desperately in love with who God is and all the little things i've been missing rushing through this life. As I go through my day now I notice things I've never noticed before and as I look back I see God's provison over me in every situation that's happened. I've decided to choose carefully how I use my time and carefully evaluate the priorities in it. I will tell you that I haven't been disappointed yet by how God had used my time since I fully released control over to him and stopped planning it out myself.  Jeremiah 29:11 

I will be the first to admit i've messed up a lot of things in my life and missed a lot of wonderful moments by rushing through and not enjoying it as it happens and by grasping so tight to my timeline on when I thought things should be happening....  so i've decided to REALLY settle into the fact that life is meant to be lived and lived well. That means letting go of my plans and my timeline and giving God full control.  Part of this for me personally is using this time to be more intentional in my relationships. I love people.. i might even say I have a passion for them. There is nothing I love more than spending time in good conversation/sharing life with people from all walks and stages. I have been so blessed by the people who have come along side me and poured into me over the years and from that I could turn around and pour out into others.  God made us to be relational and to love each other intently...I think that is one of the coolest things!

I was a funeral recently and heard this story... A young man was sent out on a class assignment to a cemetery. He was asked to find and trace the most important part of a headstone on a piece of paper. He looked around and decided it must be the persons name so he traced that and went back to the classroom.  He quickly learned that was indeed NOT the most important part and sent back out to the cemetery. He walked around for quite some time looking at the different headstones and thought that maybe it was the year the were born or the year they died or maybe the various other inscriptions left on the stones. After pondering for awhile it suddenly dawned on the young man that it wasn't the year they were born or even the year they died that was important. The most important part about each of those stones was the dash - between the date they were born and the date they passed away. That dash represents the life they lived. You see.. after we are all gone from this earth, that dash is time that we can't get back. We have to make the most of that time we are given by making  sure that we are living our dash well.  The reason Ms Linda Monroe continues to to inspire me is because she lived her dash well.  
      So this is my heart cry..I'm seeking to live my dash well and choose the joy and peace Christ offers me. I'm choosing to have sincere faith and use my time wisely.  My prayer for myself and whoever else might be reading this is to be intentional, love this life and always be willing to say "Yes" to God.